According to the New York Times, a scourge has been creeping across the country for at least a decade now. Its tattooed tentacles are enveloping Valencia Street in San Francisco (2008); traveling by ferry (with fixed gear bikes) to Staten Island (2007); ruining the relative peace of Montauk with its banjos (2012); even invading the Mormon church (2011) and Christian communities (2013) with its brewed by the cup artisanal coffee. And now, this national menace has hit the leafiest suburbs of New York City. It is, of course, the hipster.